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Stop Excluding Older Gay Men. Our Gay Community Deserves Better.

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Discrimination Within the Gay Community

If you’re a gay man, you’ve probably already witnessed discrimination within our community. For everyone else, I wouldn’t doubt you’ve heard stories. 

Even amongst ourselves as gay men, we deal with racism, body shaming, and other forms of judgement. It’s a huge issue, notably highlighted by the Grindr application’s removal of ethnicity filters.

Older gay men in particular though, face the sad reality that ageism is not uncommon.

ageism against older gay men

I’m not discounting that ageism exists among other subsets of the LGBT+ community. But I would like to highlight how severely this discrimination can affect the mental health and well-being of gay men belonging to generations before us.

It breaks my heart to see younger, or even middle-aged gay men overtly diminish the value that older gay men bring to the LGBT community through immature, ageist behaviors. 

Whether it’s completely ignoring the presence of older gay couple at a social gathering, or poking fun at these vital members of our society, it’s damaging and not okay.

The reality is that because gay men tend to place such high importance on physical attractiveness, the older generations or often snubbed. Younger gay men fail to realize that these older gay guys were once just as youthful and physically superior, and that it’s only a matter of time until the tables turn.

A Generation Who Fought

Younger members of the LGBT community have largely grown up in a society that afforded them many more freedoms than existed half a century ago. While there’s clearly more LGBT rights work to be done, the American gay, lesbian and queer communities can live life much more comfortably today than they could in the 1960’s.

Stonewall Riots New York City

Most of us are quite familiar with the timeline of events, especially regarding the Stonewall Riots in New York City. However, those who discriminate against the older gay men and women of our community are neglecting to remember that these fearless people are credited with fighting for and achieving basic rights for our community.

“I Hope There’s Still Room for Me…”

As a gay travel blogger and the creator of the wolfyy gay travel site, I’ve surveyed many LGBT travelers seeking to understand trends related to their travel preferences. While doing so, the subject of ageism against older gay men, specifically with respect to social situations and travel, continually popped up.

older gay men interview

While asking a couple of older gay travelers if there was anything else they would like me to know as a gay travel blogger, one man replied “I’m in my 60’s. I hope there is still room for me in the gay community.” 

This comment made me start reflecting on the way older gay men must feel when they’re discriminated against. No matter who you are, you can surely relate to this feeling in some way. And this empathy was the inspiration for writing this post.

Support, Love & Cherish Older LGBT People

Ostracizing the older gay men of our community does more harm than you think. Negative social interactions can severely impact these individual’s mental health.

supportive quality time with older gay men

It’s important today that we foster more meaningful inter-generational interaction as well as avoid ageist behaviors. Whether it’s simply being friendly to the older gay traveler who’s alone at a party, or devoting time to volunteer with advocacy services for LGBT seniors, like Sage, we can all do something.

The LGBT Ageing Center is a great organization to contact if you’re interested in supporting our gay and lesbian senior community in any way.

Resources for Older Gay Men

Fortunately, there are tons of resources available to older gay men, from various resource centers for older LGBT people, to tailored senior gay dating apps, to gay travel groups and tours for older gay members of the LGBT community.

senior gay travel vacation groups

Senior Gay Travel Groups & Vacations

Some noteworthy agencies to explore for senior travelers include the facetiously named Take My Mother Please, which organizes gay and lesbian senior tours, as well as Singles Travel International, which helps vacationers find travel partners, especially older individuals.

Senior Gay Sailing Vacations

If you’re interested in joining a gay sailing trip in Greece, Croatia or the Caribbean, wolfyy can help you find other gay seniors interested in traveling with you. To start, get basic information on wolfyy’s gay sailing page and be sure to add your information to the gay sailing interest form on. That page.

Senior Gay Dating Apps

Single older gay men looking for a partner should definitely check out Silver Singles, one of the best and most modern senior gay dating apps. Alternatively, there’s always the dependable Match.com platform, which is well-known and has an incredibly large user base.

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Next, meet Brent & Michael, an older gay couple who left their home in Seattle to become digital nomads, living in new countries every few years, all around the world.

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